No Excuse is Good Enough!

This has been my mantra from the day I started my diet. I am well known for it. Sometimes people will say things to me like "But U of I hasn't been to the rose bowl in 30 years!" to which I coyly respond "My grandma only turned 90 once."

I know for some people, unbendingly following the rules doesn't work, but for me, its vital. I think that once I cheat once, then 2nd time will be easier.

However, this weekend I was about 10 minutes away from an acceptable excuse. I was running really late to my flight out of Seattle (it left at 9am and I rolled out of bed at 7:30). While I managed to get to the airport 50 minutes before my flight, as I was rushing to my gate, I realized had I been only marginally slower (or lines had been longer) I wouldn't have had time to make my breakfast (coffee and chocolate). In which case, I wouldn't have been able to eat "in the box" until my layover in Chicago. 4 hours on a flight without eating would have killed me. I think i probably would have purchased an apple or banana at the store on my way to the gate just as something to eat.... Before my next trip, I think I'm gonna pick up some HMR Bars for just that kind of emergency. (I generally avoid the bars because they are too much like candy bars)

Growing?

So, when I created this blog I intended to talk not only about the loss I was seeing but also about the growth I was experiencing through the process. I've spent lots of time talking about my weight loss but little about my mental growth.

Something I would recommend to anyone who has a lot of weight to lose and has tried many times to lose it with little to no success is to see a counselor during the weight loss process. I know that maybe sounds crazy. But really, people eat for a variety of reasons and if you want to change your eating habits you really need to understand why you eat the way you do. Is it because you are bored? depressed? stressed? What happens when you can't use food to deal with those situations anymore? I think talking to a counselor can help you work on new techniques or uncover underlying causes for your behavior.

I learned early on in my diet process that I was "self-medicating" with food and I'm starting now to realize what I was medicating myself for. You see, I get bored very very easily, but I'm super good at following exact directions (as the people I play World of Warcraft with). This means that I'm not terribly happy when I have little to no direction for how to spend my day. When I started my diet, I was really able to pinpoint the moments I would have gotten food or a beverage to stem my boredom or saddness. This happens a lot at work. It goes something like this: Gosh I'm bored with X, I guess I'll head down to the coffee shop and get a chai or a bagel and come back to it. But now that isn't an option... I'm still searching for the replacement.

Another thing I've seen as my body has shrunk, is my self-awareness has grown. In the last year, I've been struggling a lot in graduate school, and because I'm not masking my feelings with food, I've really been faced with understanding what is making me unhappy. Additionally, my confidence in my self and my abilities have grown. These to things have combined to create a "perfect storm" for me to re-evaluate my life directions and goals and what I think it will take to make me happy. Namely, graduating with my masters degree and getting a real job ;-) (I'll talk about my interview worries later).

Also, because my self-awareness has grown I've been better able to pinpoint where and how I struggle most (and would have used food to calm/entertain). As a result, I've been working with my counselor and I was recently diagnoised with AD/HD (inattentive type). I later found out that obesity is common in women with AD/HD.

Anyway, thats a little about my "growth" during this 9 months (!!) process.

Another post is forth coming about my plans for the remainder of my diet (now that I'm 14 pounds from my goal weight).